Personal Filters

I've been thinking quite a bit about filters and the lack thereof.  In air systems they sift out dust and other "bad" particles so that our system isn't fouled.  However, in humans they can serve a dual purpose.

I believe we all carry scars within us.  They may be old, twisted remnants from childhood, or shiny new spots where divorces are healing.  Whatever the origins of our scars, one thing is certain; they mark where our own personal filters failed us.

There are lessons in everything that happens in life, if we care to look closely.  Reasons and lessons may present themselves in the present, or years later.  Enough scars on our filter teaches us self preservation.  We may isolate ourselves from those who would continue to inflict pain, perceived or actual, causing more scars.

When our own filters are faulty we may say things and wish we could suck them right back in.  Our anger may whip out at whomever is nearest, including those we love the most, providing them with a new wound to heal.

The problem is, it's a vicious cycle.  Humans filters work both ways.  If we are wide open to being hurt because our filter has many holes from wounds that have scarred over into hard places, this makes it easier to hurt us, and in turn, more effortless for us to hurt others.  Our filter is tough and the things we say may be hurtful without us even realizing it, or caring!  After all, the other person may need to, "toughen up."

In my own life, I've been told that I "wear my heart on my sleeve," or  am "too sensitive." I also learned that, he/she treated me that way because they "liked" me.  I never learned what it was like if he/she didn't like me.  It always felt the same.

Part of my journey learning to be a writer, and choosing to be happy, is learning that it's ok and acceptable to be me, with all my feelings.  It makes me happier to be around happy people, and something interesting is occurring.  I've seen some shiny, new strands in my old, hard, crusty filter.  It seems to be healing and regenerating.  The less I'm around hurtful people who scar my filter, the more my filter seems to function well around other people.

Thank you to those who are helping me in my journey.  Your friendships are invaluable.

Have a nice day!  :)

The Incredible Lightness of Being

My life is a MESS!  I have so many reasons that I could be unhappy.  Don't worry, I'm not going to list them.  Not only is it boring and redundant, I just don't wanna! 

I AM HAPPY!  And I hope that you are happy too.  :)

There's something to be said for happiness and being happy.  As a middle aged person, the idea struck me anew that I could choose to be happy.  I'm sure I knew that once, long ago, when summers were filled with riding bikes and swimming instead of work and driving.

And so I am choosing.  Every day.  It's been a struggle, choosing happiness, after letting the winds of fate choose my mood for years.  Yet I'm making progress.  PROactive instead of REactive.  I like it.

Try it yourself!  Be happy!  Those around you will respond the same way.  It's amazing how much our moods are reflected in the moods of those around us!

With everything that's gone wrong, I am so thankful for the things that have gone right.  When life was bleak, God took care of this family.  We didn't have more than we needed, but we had enough.  For what more could I ask?

:)

Happy Easter!