Work Hard and You Will Succeed?

The first part of my life was spent living in poverty. A single mother of three children who started procreating at age 15 and a mostly absent father who job hopped and avoided child support meant that the prescription for my formative years was written in permanent ink.

I still find it interesting that I didn't actually realize we were poor until later in life. Seemed to me like everyone around me was in pretty much the same economic condition. Plus, I had my family, which made me rich! A handsome brother and 4 sisters meant I was never alone, and never lonely.

Still, we grew up with Momma struggling to make ends meet. I remember shopping with her in the grocery store and "giving her permission" to buy a week's worth of chicken pot pies so she wouldn't have to write (another) hot check.

For a long time, in hopes of not perpetuating the poverty cycle, I was sold on the idea that if you worked hard, you'd succeed! It's pretty common fodder, even in today's elementary schools. We are fed it with our school lunches, and it's about as appetizing. The idea seem plausible, until I worked my first "real" job. Really hard. Long, hard hours with a horrible, mean boss making not very much money. And failing.

After a brief sojourn where I felt successful, but was bored with my work, I find myself back at that ubiquitous place, "failure." This time, of the unemployed. I may even be unemployable. I could write all day on why I'm a failure, but it seriously won't change anything because I am who I am. Inherently I'm a strong-willed opinionated woman who speaks her mind, often insults the wrong people (but never means to), and doesn't often understand the social conventions that are so obvious to others. So, I'm learning to redefine success-on my terms.

Success may be the check for royalties I got this afternoon. A whopping $44.65! And yes, I'm proud. I'll earn another $15 later in the week, for thoughts that I got down on paper that someone else thought were worth something. And I never dreamed how glorious "hard work" can feel.