Long Hair and Writing Well

Maybe the reason I'm trying to write is to understand people.  Maybe it's because it's not something that comes naturally and it's something at which I don't feel completely competent.  Perhaps it's because someone once insinuated that I don't write well.  (actually he may have come right out and said that, I don't remember for certain)

I remember someone telling me once I'd never be able to wear my hair short because I don't have a long, slender neck.  I have a big head and my face is round and full.  I promptly cut off my hair and wore it short for years! 

Last year I grew my hair out longer than it's been in a very long time.  It was beautiful.  Naturally wavy and thick.  Perhaps he'd been right.  I had missed having lovely hair all those years because I wouldn't listen to what I viewed as someone else's criticism.

Then, a funny thing happened.  Life changed.  My hair felt too long for my age.  I didn't like the gray and the long together, and my fantastic stylist cut it back to a shoulder length for me once more.  I felt lighter and looked better.

As I read yet another rejection this morning, I thought about the place in life where I've received the opinions of others.  Sometimes I've been gracious and thankful and sometimes I've disregarded their thoughts.  As with my hair,  I am not defined by the opinions of others.  I can choose to wear my hair any way I want and I am still the person staring back at me.  Attractive, older, or too shortly cropped doesn't change who I am, how I wear my hair and how I accept criticism can change or not change how I feel about me.  It's MY choice.

I can choose to believe that I don't write well.  After all, I am not able to make a living writing and I'm not on the NY Times best seller list, or in Oprah's book club.  But someone reads my words and thoughts.  I am in the public library in the town in which I live.  And hard work and discipline are things I need in my life.  If this blog is all the futher it takes me, I'll learn to be ok with that because whatever else my writing is, to me it feels important.  And that's all that matters.